How It Used To Be
by LemonDropAnyone
Summary: Silence isn't always the best. Ron's P.O.V, rated for some language.


I don't think they understand what all three of us go through. Harry has the weight of the world on his shoulders with having to defeat Voldemort and all. Hermione has the weight of trying to be strong for him and give him the affection that he never had or learned to accept. I have the weight of trying to hold strong for the both of them when they break down…and the weight of trying to get them to see that they're head over heels for each other.

You see, underneath the façade of the "trio", there are three normal individuals who hurt just like any other person in the world. But that's all we get nowadays. The Golden Trio can't be normal human beings. They don't have feelings. Why on earth would that happen? The Chosen One and his best friends must be inhuman because the war doesn't affect them.

Yeah fucking right the war doesn't affect us.

Every night I hear Harry scream from a nightmare. Every night I hear Hermione cry out. Every night I hear the muffled sobs of my best friend who can't show his feelings in fear of getting hurt or getting us hurt. Every night I hear the outright sobs of my best female friend, crying for Harry and crying for the brokenness she feels inside. Every night and every day I hear my thoughts and the memories of their screams and sobs. It tears me apart and I know it does the same to them.

I'm the sixth son and child of the Weasley family, one of the Light's biggest supporters. I'm Ginny's protector because I'm her big brother and I care about her. I'm Hermione's protector because she's my best friend and I care about her. I'm Harry's protector because he's my best friend and the first real friend I had going to Hogwarts. I'm the tall, gangly, freckled guy who doesn't have the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Well, that's wrong. I cry. I cry every single night.

And I'm sick of crying.

It isn't fair. It isn't his fault, my fault, Hermione's fault, anyone's fault except Voldemort's. It just isn't fair.

And I'm sick of the fact that all I have been able to do is cry. I don't know how else to relieve the pressure I hold in from a day at school. All the whispers that go around every time I walk into a room. When I'm with Harry and Hermione, people are almost afraid to breath around us. They treat us, me, like we're some sort of God. They just don't see that this war is tearing us up just as much as it is them.

I'm lying on the couch in the Heads dorm. This is where I normally sleep these days. Harry and Hermione were made Head Boy and Girl so they have their own dormitory. I moved in with them because I didn't want to be alone in Gryffindor Tower.

For the first time in months I hear silence. And as fucked up as this may seem, I can't stand it. The term silence is deafening is true. So fucking true it hurts. It's there, haunting me, taunting me and hurting me. I hate to hear my best friends scream and cry, but I think I would rather hear that than this…it's making me insane. I need some sort of sound…some sort of something to occupy my thoughts. I know, it's fucked up but it's true.

I am one of three parts of the Golden Trio. But in my one part, I have more than one job. I am the strategist, the comedy relief, the observer and the protective one. I plan things, and I plan them well. I execute every move precisely and I haven't been wrong yet. Hermione compared me to a muggle term once…a General I think it was. Well, it was something like that.

Now, when I mentioned observer above, you must have laughed or at least rolled your eyes. I know I seem dumb but I'm really not. I'm just a quiet type of guy. I know, another eye roll. But to prove it to you, I know that Hermione is the most sought after girl in school. She really is rather beautiful, even though I'm quite taken, and happily might I add, by Luna. What sort of guy would even listen to that, gossip about girls I mean? Exactly, one who observes his surroundings.

And to prove it even more, I know for a fact that my best friends are head over heels for each other. They'll never admit it, I know that. But in the off chance they do, it would probably be a life or death situation. And how do I know this, besides stating my obvious reason, observing?

I know because the Golden Trio is broken inside. We've always worked as a unit…but now we work as three individuals who work together on things. And I'm ashamed that Hermione is the only one trying to fix it. I would try, but I don't know how. Well, I do, but I don't go that way. I'm Harry's best mate and brother and that's all I will ever be thank you very much.

But Hermione…

Hermione is Harry's savior. Even heroes need to be saved sometimes. And that's exactly what she did.

She fixed it.

She fixed us.

She got Harry to open up completely. He cried and cried and cried for hours. And she held him through all of it and I was there for a comforting presence. And because of that, because of her, Harry talks to us about everything and anything. He's finally learning to accept that Hermione and I love him (me like a brother and Hermione…well, let's just say I see the same initials for the two of them soon).

It'll be different for a while now. But we aren't broken. Harry and Hermione will be alone more, and admittedly, I'm with Luna a lot too. But Hermione will be working with Harry more and trying to get it through his thick skull that she loves him.

But they're in love and it makes me all the happier. I can see it when Hermione addresses him with loving affection. I can see it when his eyes hold a little something more when he's with her. I'm with them constantly so I would know. The change is as obvious as they sky is blue.

And I'm smiling now. Not crying. If those two get it together and get together, I think I will be for the rest of my life.

-----------------------

It's a Saturday afternoon that's perfect for lazing around or playing Quidditch. The three of us are doing the first option. We're under the large oak tree by the lake that we have dubbed ours.

Harry's sitting against the trunk of the tree with a sleepy, yet happy expression. Hermione is half lying down and half sitting up. Her head is propped up by Harry's shoulder and she's immersed in one of her large tombs that she calls a book.

I'm close to them, but a little farther away and I'm lying on my back watching the clouds go by. Hermione once told me about this muggle game where you think of what the cloud looks like. Well…I see one that looks like a lion.

I glance over at the two of them. Hermione isn't so engrossed in her book any more and Harry doesn't hold his sleepy expression. The two of them are whispering quietly to each other. And I can see that Harry's left hand joined with Hermione's right one. I can't help the quiet chuckle that escaped as I go back to my cloud watching.

They aren't together yet. But my smile is still here.

And for now, things are how they used to be.

&---&---&---&---&

Well, that was just a random thing I came up with. I was sitting in the car yesterday and I thought…I wonder what Ron thinks of the war and his best friends. This sort of just came out.

Hope it was all right. Thanks for reading. LemonDropAnyone, 4 pages.


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